The value of having a doula by your side during pregnancy

Yesterday, a fellow doula friend reminded me of a phrase that stayed with me:
“Alone we are capable, but it’s better together.”

And I haven’t stopped thinking about how true it is. Women are powerful. We carry life, give birth, love fiercely, and hold it all together. Yes, we can do it alone, but we were never meant to. Especially not during pregnancy.

We live in a system that still sees pregnancy through a medical lens. Pregnant women are often treated like patients—as if they’re in a fragile, critical state. But pregnancy is not an illness. It’s a state of health. The body knows how to grow a baby. And if we trust it, it will also know how to birth. And how to breastfeed.

What we really need is not more noise, more opinions, or more pressure.
What we need is someone who helps us reconnect with our inner knowing.
And that’s where the doula comes in.

 

What does a doula actually do?

A doula isn’t a doctor. She isn’t there to give medical advice or make decisions for you. She’s there to listen without judgment, to hold space, and to walk beside you through the most transformative moments of your life.

The word doula was revived by Dana Raphael, an anthropologist who fiercely advocated for respectful birth and mother-to-mother support. She saw doulas not as professionals with authority, but as wise women offering emotional, physical, and informational support to other women—not from a place of hierarchy, but of care. To accompany is not to lead, it’s simply to be there

A doula doesn’t come with a plan for how your birth should unfold. She comes to remind you that you already carry the wisdom within you. She’s there when doubts arise. When fear creeps in. When the outside world gets too loud. She helps you return to your center, to your body, your baby, your voice.

Because the truth is: your body already knows. It always has. And yes, you can do it alone. But with a doula by your side, you don’t have to feel so alone.

Because we’ve never experienced pregnancy as alone as we do today. In the past, we were surrounded by other women. By aunts, sisters, grandmothers, neighbors. There was a circle of feminine presence holding us through the shift from one identity to another.

Now, more than ever, we need that tribe back. Because the transition from maiden to mother is sacred. And it deserves to be held with reverence, presence, and care.

That’s what doulas are here for. Not to mark the path, but to walk it with you.