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What to expect from your libido, the do’s and don’ts.

I think it is pretty much common knowledge that if you have a healthy and risk-free pregnancy, you can safely have sex with your partner. But once you are pregnant, more questions start popping up, and some of you might be a bit shy to ask. I will try to give you as much information about the subject, but feel free to contact me with other questions, and rest assured you may ask your midwife or OBGYN without feelings of shame.

So, as I said, you can usually have sex without a problem if you have a normal pregnancy. But what kind of sex? And does it vary per trimester?

Usually, in the first trimester, you will feel nauseous or tired, which honestly doesn’t make you feel very sexy. You may experience a loss of appetite, some weight loss even, and the only thing on your mind is rest. If this is you then listen to your body.

You might also feel more pelvic pressure and vaginal dryness. Be sure to talk to your partner about everything and be prepared to need a bit more foreplay.


Some first-time parents might be scared they will harm or bump the baby. Don’t worry, this is not how it works. Nature is smart, the muscles protect your baby in the womb and during pregnancy your body produces a mucus plug which protects the baby from bacteria.


The second pregnancy is famous for being the sexiest. You might have seen this in movies or tv shows, or heard it from close friends who have experienced it. Once nausea fades away and your energy starts coming back, so does your libido. Plus the extra hormones add to your horniness. If you have a steady partner, enjoy this time of non-protected sex. If you don’t want to have sex with someone, always use a condom. Up to the sixth month, you can still lay on your back, but other positions might be more comfortable.


Female orgasm does cause uterine contractions, but it is not at all strong enough to bring on labour by itself. Once the baby is ready to be born, a series of events happen in the body to start the labouring process. Sex might help in the last trimester to get the oxytocin flowing and to start up the contractions.


In the third trimester, you will feel heavier, but the hormones are still very much present. The sex might become a bit slower and gentler. From the 26th week, it is recommendable to avoid laying on your back, as it increases the chance of stillbirth. So, try positions that avoid laying. This is a great moment to connect with your partner, getting massages, kisses, and creating a magical bond that will serve as a positive anchor during labor and birth.


Don’t forget that labour is part of the female sexuality. The same hormones are in place. The same settings and feelings are needed.


What can you do:

  • you can give and receive oral sex. Always making sure your sexual partner doesn’t have an STD. Also make sure your partner doesn’t blow in your vagina, which can cause an air embolism and in rare cases may be the cause of death.
  • You can have vaginal penetration.
  • You can masturbate (even with a vibrator).

You might feel your uterus contracting and getting a hard belly after. This is entirely normal. It should be better after half an hour.


What is not recommended:

  • Anal sex. Although there are not enough studies about the subject, many experts don’t recommend it as it can cause hemorrhoids, anal fissures, and bleeding. This can cause various types of infections, and also can be uncomfortable later on at birth.


It is too extreme to say that every high-risk pregnancy should be cautioned with a no-sex rule. It is very variable per person and per health situation. Some women might have to avoid sex only in the first trimester, as the risk of spontaneous abortion is the highest. This can be for example due to vaginal bleeding in the first trimester and can be seen as a precautionary measure.

If you are pregnant with twins, it really depends if you suffer other complications. Many women go on having sex until the third trimester when it becomes too uncomfortable. If you feel fine, usually it is not a problem. There are definitely not enough studies to actually state that sex in multiple pregnancies is dangerous. So it depends on every individual case.

In which risk cases is sex ok? (Please always consult with your provider. This is for informative purposes only).

  • Preeclampsia. This is a condition in which mothers have extremely high blood pressure during pregnancy. Some studies have shown that sex might actually be beneficial as it lowers blood pressure and that exposing the cervix to semen might be a protective measure against preeclampsia.
  • Gestational diabetes. Although when your blood sugar is up, your libido might be down. Although few studies have been done, what can be confirmed is that sex makes you move. Exercise is highly recommended if you suffer from GD. You might feel less lubricated than usual, so don’t forget to buy a natural or water-based lubricant.

In which scenarios is sex off the table?

  • Placenta Previa (the placenta covers your cervical opening).
  • The cervix begins to open prematurely.
  • After a membrane sweep (Hamilton maneuver).
  • If you leak amniotic fluid.

What I would like to transmit with this blog post is that sex during pregnancy should not be a taboo subject, and we should feel completely free to ask any questions because they are always important.

I remember in my first pregnancy we were told the first trimester to avoid sex as I had a hematoma in the placenta. Once it was cured, we shyly asked our obstetrician if we were allowed to have sex again. His humorous answer will stay with us forever; Go ahead, you can have sex. But avoid tiger jumps! Thanks to his way of answering, I was never afraid again to ask him any type of question.

Make sex an enjoyable and bonding time with your partner. You will recreate this bond during labor. After birth, you might take more time than (socially) expected to have sex again, and that is ok too. I will for sure write about post-partum sex in a new blog post.

Ps; here are some enjoyable sex positions you might want to try during pregnancy:



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